Blogs » Essay » Institutionalized


  • As my day for retiring gets closer I get more and more spooked...Double guessing myself.

    Am I retiring from the job too soon?

    Should I be like my other partners and stay making mostly easy money?

    Then I remind myself that's how the system works...To be chasing money...To be chasing comfort and getting fatter, lazier, till your health is gone and so is your time.


    Till you just burnt out like an old candle never having done anything amazing...You just worked, bought useless stuff, did some mindless vapid bullshit then died.

    I remind myself that with a portion of what I make I could rebuild myself...Eat right, sleep right, hit the weight pile, hike, climb, swim, study, learn new techniques etc.

    Be more than the total sum of my parts.

    I already got about 90% of the Sociopath Traits down...I can literally get over anything quickly.

    I also picked up some of the Psychopath Traits down which have come to have been life savers in certain situations.

    I keep reminding myself that once I'm out of the Rat Race I will wonder why I didn't do it sooner...But the fear of the unknown is what keeps us trapped.

    Which is why people keep Terrible Friends, Stay in awful jobs they hate, Maintain relationships with toxic family members etc.

    Don't get to a point in your life where you just give up and think fuck it...If you hate life so much MAKE A SERIOUS EFFORT TO CHANGE IT.

    I'm literally giving up over $40,000+/year to make a change in my life...I'm fucking scared it's the wrong decision but I also know if I don't I'll just be one of these motherfuckers stuck in the Matrix Pod of Society:

    Life consisting of okay dates, okay sex, fattening food, watching Netflix and a small trip here and there pretending I'm still living a Real Life.

    A bland vanilla ordinary life...Fuck that.


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