Nicotine (12/10/16)

  • Nicotine
    withdrawal,

    perpetual
    acid rain, alienates.

    Your rages
    scare silent,
    quell the beautiful,


    wide-eyed wonder
    of a sleepless toddler.

    A pizza box slammed,
    a bag of laundry thrown,
    clean towels strewn;
    your vicious anger
    struck
    calamity and ruin.

    Stuck
    in our throats,
    the greasy feast
    nourished no one tonight.

    If there was a reset button,
    a way to start clean,
    I would undo your father's death,
    unwrite the sorrow,
    undo "us" so that the innocent
    never existed.
    Uncoupled,
    unmurdered,
    hearts unrent,
    lives unbent,
    little miseries,
    little spent.

    a good song
    couldn't cure.

    We thought we would be so different,
    so unlike the corporate cogs;
    we used to laugh at them with disdain...

    And now I say
    Long live the mind-numbing mundane,
    the troves of simple human beings
    endowed with common sense
    and the ability to endure.

    We were no different,
    sex brought no sophistication.
    You and I were always the same
    side of a coin of little value,
    narcissistic, petty, and immature.

    If divorce fixed all,
    I would excise you,
    cut myself clean.
    But snoring softly in the adjoining room,
    cherubic only in slumber,
    my child, my love, my hell...
    her unhappiness the only pitfall.

    But for your poison and play,
    anchor babies, games and half truths,
    I would be gone yesterday.

    [your love is a prison and there is no escape]