Gritium (4/6/16)

  • a stubborn clinging
    to old letters
    yellowed with age,
    pages creased,
    tear stains,
    ink and mascara,
    blood spots faded,
    rusted remains
    of vice and viscera.

    an ache,
    a past,
    ephemeral beauty
    could not last...

    a fatal flaw,
    an accident,
    irreversible,
    terrible,
    heart rent,
    disconsolate.
    a compromise,
    a sigh,
    he spilled his seed,
    I spilled my blood,
    biding my time
    for better times
    that never came--
    curled into myself
    with the hurt of need.

    You never said what I needed to hear;
    how far you were in spite of being near.

    Sweet escape,
    a bitter memory
    like knives,
    a black wedding dress,
    bonded leather,
    a Southern landscape--
    Tennessee Williams couldn't have done it better--
    self-hate,
    milky tears that never abate;
    when will it get better before it gets the better of me?