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The Little Descent

  • The little descent

      Usually, on the way back home, the university transport went through Esperanza town, but the trajectories change just like the people, unless you share moral values, they generally have a dispute against the new, fixed structures, resistance to change , which they call as change but which is nothing more than indifference, some attachment and behind all a rejection of selfishness, made to look like healthy selfishness that for me is nothing more than a lack of consciousness, in which I prefer not to participate, not even report. Today the university route does not cross the town, it goes directly to the highway, it is faster, but I am not going, it just takes me, and today I was able to realize it.

    They call it '' The little descent '', a small stretch of street located about 100 meters before the entrance to the highway. It is quite a steep slope, and as I pass by I feel that roller coaster sensation, of first world mechanical attraction; Nobody makes mention of the little descent but they know it, I have seen them recognize it when the driver (Whoever it is) near the slope aggressively accelerates (Who knows why) just before starting the descent and I manage to observe the faces of some restless students , moving their faces, trying to hold on to the seat, looking elsewhere than the front, trying to avoid the inevitable, some others seem normal like me, I always think `` here it comes '' moment in which there seems to be a complicity between all of us, unconscious complicity. It is not named as ''the little descent'' because someone had named it like that, but because everyone does, without decision, without opinion, it just happened (like the collective unconscious) like those disadvantages that my life is made of. That descent affects me, maybe because I am not the driver, and because I am not going, it is taking me. How many of those students are also being taken?

      There is also a little descent when I go through places that become uncomfortable because mutual glances with the person that the relationship did not work out cross each other, unable to say what I should have and I must say, we are left assuming and thinking things that will never happen to us or sometimes negative ideas , the descent of the little descent, it's heavy.

      Later I read that to be able to overcome your fear you must become it, the next day when going through the little descent I understood that in order not to be affected by that inevitable force I had to counteract it by joining because by denying myself it only would made the little descent become the great descent or the super descent, so I had to want to jump in and I did, believe me that the little descent did not affect me that time. Now I must lead, participate and defend what seems right to me, of course I have not yet renounced that old me, that other little descent where she is, the sum of the circumstances and my inaction that I never faced.

      I do not know her fight, hers, the little descent that she faces on a daily basis. If only we could have been like the sun, shining all the time, advancing in the same little descent, holding hands and looking straight ahead, wanting to launch ourselves instead of entertaining ourselves in excuses and negative assumptions, like now, here it comes again, the partner next to me with a terrifying look of `` look at me and don't touch me '' seems to have more guts than the boy next to her, the one who wears pink and pastel green shoes, even so she already closed his eyes and holding the edge of the seat ...

      In that clinging to the seats, you could see the ties, you could see a complaint that they did not recognize themselves, the little descent was an encrypted question in situation, a counterpart of the things that had never worked out in their lives and that were halfway there. caught without having thrown a result yet, such as the calls from an unknown lady asking for another lady named Miriam (She always did), the exam corrected with a 20 backwards that I found in an abandoned desk hanging around the university, or that woman with The one who shared daily dialogue on an anonymous chat page, who called herself "woman-30", the disorder of the home or the friends who are no longer there.

      Their answer to that encrypted question from those students, was usually "fine and you", which expressed everything al all because nothing was right, it was time to jump already, to want to jump; give the answer that our life deserves, and in my case, now, a goodbye to the part of me that died, the porcelain doll that was me. 

     

    (I had to adapt this from spanish to ensglish so I don't know if this fits, the original tittle is ''la bajadita'' wich gives a diferrent meaning than ''the little descent'')


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